Let me introduce myself

I am "sola lupa" which means lonely wolf in Latin. And you surely noticed that I make many mistakes in English. I will try my best but I have never been good at this language.

I am not sure if I should write here everything what I want but... None of you who will appear here does not know me so... Who cares...

I am just an ordinary human being (I have no idea where the line is). When I was really really young I wanted to be a singer, a musican, then a salesman, a writer, a sportsman... I also wanted to try physical tests for army and police but... Huge BUT... There always were and are things why I can not be anything of those. I am not talented, I also could not try to play any instrument because my family did not have money for that and now it is too late, I was cured for astma for a long time and currently because of my health I can not even run or ride a bike (I used to like both). I am also shy if I do not know the people around me. But I am able to overcome my shyness sometimes and act like a normal human being.

What else... When I was young I have been bullied since kindergarten until like seventh grade in elementary school (for me it means the second grade in high school - weird Czech school system). It was psychical bullying from girls, a whole class and boys too. I do not know if it is because of this history but sometimes I am grumpy, sarcastic, complaining and everyone hates me at that moment. The rest of the time I am unstoppable, hyped and smiling like a crazy child and do stupid things. When you left me on my own I begin dancing and singing (both horribly). 

Since i know how lonely people can feel. I try to find those people and be their friend for at least the time they need it. Sometimes I just meet them by chance and I do not know how they feel. But when they tell me how they felt then and that they are happy that they met me... I am happy that I could help them. But it is a past I am not able to this anymore.

I am frightened of many things. Firstly I hate small places - especially if there is no light. I am scared of driving a car even if I have a driving license. I also hate wintersports because skis do not have brakes, the same thing is about in line skates. I mean I like in line skating but not from the hill. And other things...

What else... I am skinny but I like food. I used to like reading but I realized that life is too short for reading so many books. Because of it I do not read or at least not as much as I used to.

The not last thing - men. Well... There was only one huge love in my life. This guy was awesome but our love was born to die. We had to go our own way. Memories of other men are about cheating, yelling et cetera. But what makes me happy is to see couples who I do not know or my friends with their beloved ones or just every happy human being. It is something amazing.

Which reminds me... Have you ever been at place which gave you incredible feelings? It happens to me really often. The sun, people, grass, wind, woods,... But my soul still has not found its home yet. Some day I would like to show every of those places to someone.

There are more things but... I think that is enough if it is not even too much.